By this time, everyone has heard in one way or another about he raid in the polygamy compound in Texas.

This post is not a post to discuss or condemn polygamy: as a cult or religion. I will limit this post to polygamy as it relates to financial parenting.

Religion and Mathematics were subjects I taught around 27 years in High school. I did not have any problems preparing and teaching my mathematic subjects. But my religion subjects were different. I struggled from lesson planning to giving of life examples in some of the subject matters I taught in my religion classes. As I recall one such subject area I recall struggled in was Responsible Parenthood. This part of the syllabus included responsible sex in marriage. There I was - a young single inexperienced 20 year old trying to teach responsible sex in marriage to seniors in an all Boys High School. I survived the efforts of the class to embarrass me with questions that I tried to answer to their non-satisfaction J. Fortunately I restored my credibility on the second part of the subject matter discussion when I was able to give real life stories of true responsible parenting. While not a parent at that time I could share with my classes true accounts of the challenges and triumphs of my parents and my family. When it came to the part where we discussed planning responsibly for the size of one’s family, I was able to use the family I was born into and grow up under as an example.

I was born into a big family of 13 children. Big families are not uncommon in the Filipino culture partly because of the Catholic Church teachings on sex, family planning and birth control methods. My parents believed three things related to these:

1) While the natural method they used for birth control was not perfect, they believed in practicing it honestly and as best they could;

2) Every child conceived in the marital relationship is a gift and a blessing from God. Thus each of my siblings and I were all equally welcomed into the family.

3) They believe and built a strong Christian family and raised all of us under a strong Christian faith and traditional family values supported by their best efforts, prayers and belief in Divine Providence.

“How did you do it?” was a question my parents had been asked by many people. Their consistent answer had been: “We did our best everyday and God did all the rest.”

People were referring to how they managed to raise and send all 13 of us to college and made sure we all graduated. This is a story that belongs to a book of its own. What I want to point out only in this blog is that, it is my parents’ faithful practice of their religion that resulted in a large family like ours AND ALSO their having raised us in the way they did, that resulted in our having been able to obtain professional education and that resulted in our better economic stations in life.

I shared in my religion classes that responsible parenthood included planning the size of the family and the ability to support and take care equally for each child in the family. Our federal law on child support is along the lines of this family value. This is a responsibility that must be taken seriously to strengthen families and communities. Regardless of education, economic status and religious beliefs, this is pure common sense law.

Because of my family background I love big families even if I have only one child. I opted for and built a successful corporate career but I also love the concept of a traditional housewife who takes care of the home as her career. I am a passionate supporter for the complete freedom to practice one’s religion though I do not believe in polygamy. And HERE I AM - very upset with this polygamy case in Texas.

For me, allowing a man to marry as many wives as he wants in his pursuit for higher place in their celestial palace is one thing. For him to do it at my expense and those of other hard working taxpayers is quite another!

How are they doing this to you and me?

If a male in the polygamous community wants to practice his religion and marries many and sires dozens, well he’d better afford it. He’d better be able to support all the wives and kids on his own. He cannot irresponsibly continue to acquire more wives and produce more kids and then send his wives to apply for public assistance as welfare mothers. I question the source of wisdom and enlightenment of a prophet that preaches and turns ‘unwed’ wives in to welfare mothers, training women in almost nothing but obedient sex service providers, making them remain unskilled and thus ‘forever’ dependent on public assistance, if we let them.

I am sure my father is happy and has a descent place in heaven with the heavenly father we believe in. If my dad were here he would be curios to meet and see what kind of men are these polygamous people who let loose their wife to go on welfare. He would share with them that he knows one thing or two about raising many children. And may even come out understanding and forgiving of them.

But not me! That is what I am struggling at this point. I am worried about the children being mold into the same mentally of these men and women without the freedom to choose whether or not they would adhere to the same religion or would rather explore other beliefs. Lack of the freedom to choose ones religion, growing up but remaining ignorant about almost everything, growing up unskilled are injustices to the kids that will in one way or another spill into the wider society. The taxes we pay into the public welfare system that had been supporting the extra ‘unwed’ wives and their children is ONE.

What should we do with men and their religion that train their women to do nothing in life but to please the men BUT the same men are unable to support their women? That is unmanly, cowardly and dishonest marital lifestyle. I do not have much respect for a religious practice of this nature. So I do not know about you but along this line alone, those children in Texas should not be made to grow up under further influence of such men.

I was a religion teacher and grew up under the tutelage of a compassionate father and preacher who had modeled for me the fullness of responsible parenting, I ask my readers forgiveness when I say I do not have much respect for a religion that teaches plural marriages without the accompanying message of responsible parenthood. This lack of responsible parenting, lack of financial knowledge, skills and independence that get passed on to the children bothers me as a financial educator and as someone who grew up in a big family

NOT to mention all the other kinds of abuse being alleged …